Grief and Loss

You’ve lost someone you love. And it’s so hard.

Harder than you ever imagined, so much so that you feel it physically. It hurts.

You are perhaps shocked by a sudden loss. Shattered. You never expected this.

Or you have been worn down by a loved one’s chronic illness and the demands of being a caregiver. Now you are not sure how to act. You’re wondering what your new role in life is. How you will really live again. How you will find meaning in life again.

Grieving comes with such enormous challenges.

For example, how should I cope with the extraordinary sadness? What will help that get better? Am I supposed to feel it at all times? Is it okay if sometimes I don’t feel it?

You might be dealing with other difficult emotions, such as anger, guilt, shame, or even relief. This huge sea of emotion can rock your life and make it hard to work, relate to others, relax, or find enjoyment. You may feel as though you are in a daze.

And there can be enormous pressure from others to move on.

Handling the reactions of others presents a whole other challenge. People say the most amazing unhelpful things. Or they may not “go there” at all, never bringing up your loved one’s name or their death, leaving you feeling like you’re a reminder to others of all they’d like to avoid thinking about. That is not fair, not at a time like this.

And the very family members who are supposed to be a support to you, you may find are actually part of the problem right now.

You likely have new roles and responsibilities as well. First came the planning of the services for your loved one, which may have been overwhelming and may have created family conflict. Now you may be taking on the responsibilities of your loved one, such as more child care or and increased financial burden.

What may be most difficult are the reminders of your loved one.

The way you are doing okay for a bit, and then something causes you to “re-remember” that they have died, and you are pulled right back into that storm of sadness and grief.

We want you to know that whatever you are feeling is normal and understandable.

You may not believe us right now, but grief counseling can help you know this, truly and deeply. We can help you accept the reality of the loss, sort through the complicated mix of emotions you have right now, find meaning and purpose in your life moving forward…and even to find happiness and enjoyment again.