Relationships

It feels like I move from one painful relationship to the next. Whether it’s a romance or a friendship, I often feel disappointed in my relationships.

I feel I’m always the one that puts in the work. When will others put in the same amount of effort that I do?

I try so hard to please, to make the other person happy, to make the relationship work, and yet nothing seems to make things better.

People don’t seem to be available to me. Does everyone else just have more friends than me, or do they not care about their relationships as much as I do?

If any of these statements sound familiar, you’re not alone. But it certainly can feel like you are. Many of us struggle with our relationships with others, and we can feel lonely and isolated, or unseen and unheard in our relationships. Invisible.

We believe that there is no pain greater than the pain of a relationship issue.

It is our deepest need to be connected to others, and when we feel disconnected or are in conflict with others, we can feel enormous sadness and shame. We feel alone, separated from others and from the world.

If you find that your relationships tend to cause you pain, counseling can help you sort that out. We can help you dig through patterns in your relationships that may be contributing to the issues you are having.

You might be having trouble making friends, or sustaining the friendships you already have.

While this can be true at any age, it’s especially true once you’re a bit older and you’ve settled down.

Or you might be having difficulty with romantic relationships. One after another, they don’t work out. You might be thinking that you keep meeting the wrong people, but then again, you ask yourself, why is that? Is there something going on with me that keeps attracting these types?

You might also be experiencing an unsatisfying relationship with your spouse or romantic partner. Maybe you’re not thinking you need couples therapy at this point, but you want to figure out why you’re unhappy. You’re wondering if it has something to do with you, and you have a lot you want to sort though.

Sometimes you think others are just difficult or disappointing; other times you think the problem is you. It’s painful either way, but you’d like to figure it out.

Men and women can be equally upset by relationship issues, as we all need connection.

And as you know, men and women can go about relationships differently. We are here to help you no matter what direction you come at this from.

Some of us have issues with disempowerment in relationships. At Life Counseling Institute, we are experts at helping with this, as it’s so incredibly common, especially in women. You might have difficulty speaking to feelings and needs or being overly self-sacrificing in your relationships. Boundaries may not be apparent…and assertiveness? What’s that?

Conversely, some people question their relationship skills. You are sometimes afraid you don’t come off well. You feel ashamed of some aspect of your personality and want to sort that out. You’d like the unbiased perspective of someone outside your usual circles to help you figure out what’s going on.

Sometimes the issue is getting over a breakup or other ending of a relationship. It can feel like you’ll never get over it. The pain is so great, almost unbearable. And all you do is think about him or her, what went wrong. You keep replaying it in your head, over and over and over. You feel devastated and unsure how you’ll move on. Your self esteem is gone.

If you’re struggling with the loss of a relationship—whether a romantic relationship or even the loss of a friend—counseling can help you sort through what happened, figure out your part in it, and help you on the path to finding new relationships that will be happier and healthier. And you’ll regain your identity, confidence, and self-esteem in the process.

Here are some things that counseling can do for you to help you sort out your relationship issues:

• Know what part of the issue belongs to you and what parts don’t
• Learn to communicate more effectively
• Learn to spot dysfunction in others and avoid those relationships
• Learn what healthy relationships look like
• Heal from breakups
• Feel empowered and equal in your relationships
• Identify how to get needs met in relationships
• Find meaningful connection with others with whom you can share your life
• Have healthy self esteem that invites positive, healthy relationships

We think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by just how effective counseling can be in helping you feel better about yourself in the context of your relationships and in having the kind of relationships you always wanted to have.