It’s hard to get even your most basic needs met, if you even ever have a chance to think of yourself. It’s so easy to be concerned for the well being of the kids and to put yourself last, and it’s little wonder that with that neglect of your own needs, you feel anxious, depressed, or hopeless. We weren’t designed to ignore our own needs so much of the time, and yet somehow we’re now expected to do that, with barely any support in parenting. The expectations on moms are irrationally high. Perfectionism sets in, and we read the parenting books and hear all the advice and suggestions and wonder if we’re even doing a good job.
Women show up for counseling frequently in the early and mid-parenting years stating, “I just don’t even know who I am anymore.” So many factors play a role. You may have given up a career you loved. Or you may be overwhelmed by the competing demands of parenting and holding down that job. Many moms struggle with excessive guilt related to believing they’re not giving their kids enough of their time (if they’re employed) or not contributing to the household income (if they’re a stay-at-home mom). They feel guilty taking even one minute for themselves.
No one told you that the moms who do best are the ones who have figured out that it is not only OK—but absolutely essential—to learn to take care of yourself. That analogy to airplanes is true: Put on your own oxygen mask first, then your child’s, so you can be present for both of you. But it’s so hard to know that it’s okay to take care of yourself or know how to go about that.
At Life Counseling Institute, we can help you learn that all of your feelings about parenting are OK, that what you are feeling is perfectly normal and understandable. That you are a good mom, despite the self-doubt you sometimes experience. That is makes sense to feel stressed and overwhelmed or be struggling with anxiety or depression right now. And that there is a way out, to feel like yourself again. In counseling, we will create a safe, nonjudgmental space for you in which you can share all of your feelings and find your way to feeling and doing better in this job of being a mom.
We can help you at various phases of parenthood: