After an Affair

An affair.

You never thought you’d be dealing with this. It’s not what you had in mind when you walked down the aisle, that is for sure.

When you’ve been betrayed, you feel hurt and alone.

Who can I talk to about this, you wonder? It can be hard to share this particular hurt with family and friends. You’re likely questioning what to do next, what does this mean? Will we be able to get through this, or should I get out now?

It is normal to find an affair to be a uniquely shattering experience.

The sense of grief, loss, and betrayal are so overwhelming.

If you are the partner who stepped outside your relationship, you may be hurting too. Wondering how you got here, and feeling enormous guilt, shame, and regret. Maybe you don’t want to talk about it. But you love your partner, and want to fix this.

couples after affair

Talking about and healing from an affair can be daunting, but our experience shows that marriage counseling or couples therapy really can save your relationship. A skilled therapist can help you navigate the seas of painful emotions you are likely experiencing, understand what happened, and help you communicate with your spouse or partner in ways that heal and help you move forward. We will create the safe space in which you can do this.

after an affair

After an affair, marriage counseling or couples therapy can help you :

  • Discuss what happened in a safe, therapeutic, healing environment
  • Grieve losses related to the affair
  • Get unstuck from the cycles of anger and defensiveness or distance
  • Safely express vulnerability, allowing your partner to hear and understand you
  • Learn how to regain trust and prevent infidelity from happening again
  • Increase emotional connection and intimacy
  • Restore a sense of positive connection and enjoyment of one another

It can be scary to realize that couples therapy or marriage counseling after an affair is for both partners. One might want to keep talking about the affair, and the other might be pushing not to talk about it. Our job is to make sure both partners feel safe and ways to communicate in manageable ways that promote healing.

At Life Counseling Institute, we use the form of marriage counseling and couples therapy that has been shown to be the most effective in improving relationships, emotion-focused therapy (EFT). EFT helps you and your partner get beneath the anger and resentment that is most easily expressed, to the more vulnerable emotions that are known to facilitate connection to your partner.

Your relationship need not be over. You just need the help of a trained, compassionate therapist to get where you need to go.