By Kelsey Miller, LPC You might be familiar with the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse from the New Testament that symbolize the evils to come at the end of the world – conquest, war, famine, and death. Dr. John Gottman, an expert on couples relationships and couples counseling, applied this idea to our relationships. Through extensive research and clinical studies,… Continue Reading »
What are Love Languages and How Do They Improve Relationships?
By Alexis McCall, ALMFT, LPC Love Languages are the way we give and receive love from our significant others. There are also love languages for friendships, children, and family members, but for now, we’ll focus on romantic relationships. According to Dr. Gary Chapman, the author of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts, there are five different… Continue Reading »
Conflict Avoidance: Sink or Swim
When baby sea turtles are born, they begin their lives by struggling to get to shore by themselves. It’s a difficult time, and it’s possible that not all of them will make it. While it might seem easier for them to have been born closer to shore, this conflict at the beginning of their lives is essential. It builds the… Continue Reading »
Pathological Altruism: When Giving Causes More Harm than Good
Giving and putting others first is heralded as a loving act, a way to show how much you care for another person, a way to relieve someone’s sadness, distress, or fear. However, did you know that there are times when giving can do more harm than good? In the clinical world this phenomenon is called “pathological altruism.” If you google… Continue Reading »
How to Ruin Your Relationship in Just 10 Easy Steps!
Use the words always and never and other discounting language to remind your partner they can never do anything right and don’t ever contribute. Similarly, point out only what your partner does wrong. This way they won’t get full of themselves or live under the illusion that they are succeeding at anything. Use the silent treatment. When you are mad… Continue Reading »
I Feel Crazy, But Am I? Understanding Gaslighting
We hear all the time that physical aggression is abusive; what we don’t often hear or recognize is that emotional abuse can be equally damaging. One such type of emotional abuse is called gaslighting. Gaslighting is a tactic of emotional manipulation designed to create extreme doubt in someone’s memory, sense of competence, and ultimately, one’s sanity. The aggressor accomplishes this… Continue Reading »