You were connected, present with each other. Every moment together felt meaningful. Your partner wasn’t just important; they were central to your life. You shared dreams, understood each other deeply, and felt strong in your relationship. It seemed like you had found your match.
But now, you’re asking yourself: What changed? How did we get here? Where did that connection go?
At Life Counseling Institute, we understand these feelings. Whether you’re working to repair your relationship, seeking clarity about your future, or navigating a conscious separation, our experienced therapists can help you move forward with understanding and purpose.
Research published in BMC Public Health has found that couples who participate in therapy show significant improvements in relationship satisfaction, with positive changes continuing over the course of one to two years following treatment. Large-scale reviews of nearly 100 outcome studies have demonstrated that relationship services help couples improve communication and gain clarity about their futures, with benefits lasting up to four years for many couples.
And although research proves it, we know it because we see it working for our clients every day.
Relationships Are Complex. Couples Therapy Provides Clarity.
When you’re in a painful relationship, it can be hard to see the full picture or understand your part versus your partner’s part.
Marriage counseling and couples therapy can help enormously. We help you untangle complicated dynamics so you can move forward with clarity. Communication is a learned skill, and in therapy you can develop ways of expressing yourself and listening that actually work.
Relationship Challenges Happen at Every Life Stage
Relationship struggles don’t wait for the “right time.” They can emerge at any point in your journey together.
In early relationships, you might be navigating:
Learning to communicate and resolve conflict for the first time
Blending different family backgrounds and expectations
Balancing new careers with building a life together
During major transitions, couples face:
The stress of becoming parents or blending families
Career changes, relocations, or financial pressures
Supporting aging parents while raising children
In long-term relationships, challenges evolve:
Feeling more like roommates than partners
Navigating empty nest adjustments or retirement
Reconnecting after years of focusing on everything but each other
Later in life, couples work through:
Health challenges and changing roles
Loss of loved ones and processing grief together
Redefining intimacy and connection in new ways
Whatever stage you’re in, therapy can help you navigate these challenges, strengthen your bond, and move forward with greater understanding.
Common Relationship Patterns We Help With
The Conflict Cycle
You may find that you’re dealing with constant conflict. There’s arguing and endless battles. No matter how hard you try, you can’t get through to your partner and can’t get on the same page.
You think, Here we go again.
It’s the same cyclical pattern:
Someone starts up, and someone walks away or shuts down
You can’t ever get anywhere
Then it happens again and again
The same repetitive argument
You feel stuck and of course want it to end. It’s frustrating, exhausting, and overwhelming. You’re tired of being unheard, blamed, or misunderstood.
The Power Imbalance
It could also be that in your relationship, one person seems to hold all the power. To keep the peace, you have to give in, let go of what you want.
You feel:
Unheard and not listened to
Taken for granted
Like you’re losing parts of yourself
The more you give in, the more invisible you become. You don’t feel good about yourself anymore and wonder if the relationship has something to do with it.
The Pursuer-Distancer Dance
One of you reaches out for connection while the other pulls away. The more one person pursues closeness, reassurance, or conversation, the more the other needs space and feels overwhelmed.
The pattern looks like this:
One partner asks, “What’s wrong?” or “Can we talk?”
The other partner says, “Nothing” or “I need some time”
The pursuing partner feels rejected and tries harder
The distancing partner feels pressured and withdraws more
Both of you end up feeling lonely and misunderstood, trapped in opposite corners of the same painful pattern.
The Mental Health Struggle
One or both of you is dealing with anxiety, depression, or another mental health challenge, and it’s affecting your relationship:
Symptoms making it hard to show up for each other
One partner feeling like a caretaker rather than an equal
Resentment building on both sides
Not knowing how to support without enabling
Wondering if the relationship is making things better or worse
You want to be there for each other, but you’re not sure how to be partners when one (or both) of you is struggling.
The Walls of Self-Protection
Past hurts have taught you that vulnerability is dangerous. Maybe from previous relationships, childhood experiences, or even earlier pain within this relationship.
Now you notice:
Keeping emotions guarded to stay safe
Difficulty sharing fears or deeper feelings
Those same protective walls keeping intimacy out
Longing for closeness but pulling back when it’s offered
Your partner seems like a stranger even after years together
You want to let your guard down, but the risk feels too great. And yet staying protected means staying alone.
The Parenting Divide
You don’t see eye-to-eye on how to raise your children, and it’s creating constant tension:
Different discipline styles causing conflict
One parent feeling like the “bad guy” while the other is too lenient
Disagreements about screen time, activities, or responsibilities
Arguing in front of the kids (then feeling guilty about it)
Extended family members weighing in and making it worse
The children sense the tension, and you’re worried about the impact on them. You want to be a united team, but parenting has become a battlefield.
When Families and Cultures Collide
Your families have different expectations, traditions, or values, and navigating these differences is straining your relationship:
In-laws who are too involved (or not involved enough)
Pressure about holidays, money, or how you live your life
Different cultural backgrounds creating misunderstandings
Language barriers with extended family
Feeling caught between your partner and your family of origin
Expectations about gender roles that don’t match your values
You love your partner, but sometimes it feels like you’re not just in a relationship with them but with their entire family and cultural history too.
The Intimacy Gap
Your sexual connection isn’t what it used to be, or maybe it was never quite right:
Mismatched desire levels leaving one frustrated and the other pressured
Physical intimacy has decreased or disappeared
Painful or uncomfortable sex that hasn’t been addressed
Shame or embarrassment making it hard to talk about
Past trauma affecting current intimacy
Feeling rejected or undesired
Sex has become another source of disconnection instead of connection, and you’re not sure how to bridge the gap without making it worse.
The Drift into Disconnection
There wasn’t one big fight or betrayal. You just… drifted. The intimacy that once came easily now feels out of reach.
You notice:
Conversations stay surface-level
Physical affection has decreased
You spend time together but feel alone
You can’t remember the last time you really laughed together
You’re more like co-parents or business partners than lovers
The connection is still there somewhere, but you’ve lost the path to reach it.
After the Breach of Trust
Something happened that broke trust. Maybe it was infidelity, a hidden financial decision, a significant lie, or a boundary violation in your non-monogamous relationship.
Now you’re left wondering:
Can this be repaired?
Will you ever feel safe again?
How do you move forward (together or apart)?
Is forgiveness even possible?
The hurt feels overwhelming, and you’re not sure if understanding what happened will make it better or worse.
Different Visions for the Future
You thought you were on the same page about your life together, but now you’re realizing you want different things:
One wants children, the other doesn’t (or you disagree about having more)
Different ideas about career, money, or lifestyle
One person wants to open the relationship, the other doesn’t
Disagreements about where to live or when to retire
Different levels of commitment or different timelines
You love each other, but you’re not sure if love is enough when your visions for the future don’t align.
What Couples Therapy Can Help You Achieve
Our marriage counseling and couples therapy services are designed to help you:
Understand patterns and dynamics – See what’s driving the conflict or distance
Communicate more effectively – Learn to express yourself clearly and listen deeply
Make informed decisions – Whether that’s repair, redefinition, or conscious separation
Break destructive cycles – End patterns that leave you both exhausted and hurt
Gain clarity about your needs – Understand what you truly need to thrive
Build empathy – See your partner’s perspective even in difficult circumstances
Feel heard and validated – Experience being truly listened to
Rebuild trust when possible – Especially crucial after infidelity or betrayal
Navigate transitions – Whether staying together, opening your relationship, or separating
Honor your authentic self – Make choices aligned with your values and identity
Our Approach: Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT) and Evidence-Based Methods
At Life Counseling Institute, our couples counselors and marriage therapists are highly trained in the most effective, scientifically-supported forms of marriage counseling and couples therapy. While we specialize in Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), widely recognized as one of the most effective methods for understanding relationships, our therapists are also trained in other evidence-based approaches including the Gottman Method, and we adapt our approach to meet the unique needs and preferences of each couple.
Research published in Clinical Psychology in Europe found that both EFT and cognitive-behavioral approaches are highly effective in helping couples, with 60-72% of couples experiencing meaningful improvements in relationship satisfaction. Importantly, studies show no significant difference in effectiveness between these approaches, meaning what matters most is finding the right fit for your unique situation and working with a skilled therapist.
What Is EFT?
EFT helps couples:
Identify and understand destructive interaction patterns – Recognize the negative cycles you’re stuck in
Recognize and express underlying emotions and needs – Get to the heart of what’s really driving conflict
Create new possibilities for relating – Build understanding and make informed choices about your future
This powerful approach goes beyond surface-level fixes, addressing the root causes of relationship distress and helping you gain the clarity you need.
Why Our Approach Works
Evidence-based: EFT and other methods we use are backed by extensive research showing effectiveness for couples
Gets to emotional core: Addresses the deeper feelings and attachment needs that drive behavior
Addresses root issues: Helps you understand what’s really happening, not just the surface conflicts
Flexible and personalized: We draw from multiple therapeutic approaches, including Gottman Method training, to tailor treatment to your unique relationship challenges and goals
Therapist expertise: Our therapists pursue advanced training in specialized couples therapy methods to provide you with the highest quality care
Meet Our Couples Therapists
Our Team of Licensed Marriage and Relationship Therapists
At Life Counseling Institute, we understand that healthy relationships don’t happen by accident; they’re cultivated through connection, communication, and sometimes, professional support. Our team includes licensed marriage and family therapists and counselors with specialized training in helping couples navigate conflict, rebuild intimacy, and create the relationship they truly want.
Emma Beechen, ALMFT (Associate Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist)
Emma is trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy and works with couples and families to help them navigate relational concerns, whether romantic, friendship, or familial. She specializes in helping couples identify underlying patterns that may be causing disconnection and equipping them with tools to strengthen their bond. Emma creates a safe and welcoming environment where couples can work together on communication, conflict resolution, and building deeper understanding. She is Gottman Level 1 Certified and has intensive training in Exposure and Response Prevention for OCD, which helps couples where anxiety or OCD impacts the relationship.
Zuly Ramirez, LCPC (Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor)
Zuly is the Assistant Clinical Director at Life Counseling Institute and is bilingual (English and Spanish). Using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), her focus with couples is on improving communication and connection between partners, building emotional intimacy, and helping couples navigate through difficult transitions such as separation, divorce, or blended family dynamics. Zuly’s approach is rooted in empathy, respect, and collaboration, providing a safe and nurturing environment where couples can explore and address their concerns. She works with couples at all stages of their relationship, from those seeking premarital counseling to those working through significant challenges.
Alexis McCall, LPC, LMFT (Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist)
Alexis is a marriage and family therapist and clinical supervisor with specialized training in Emotionally Focused Therapy for couples. She completed an externship in EFT through the Chicago Center for Emotionally-Focused Therapy and is an AAMFT-Approved Supervisor. Alexis helps couples practice open communication, learn how each partner’s love languages affect their relationship, and improve overall satisfaction in the relationship. She takes a flexible, client-centered approach and works collaboratively with couples to reach their therapeutic goals. Alexis is passionate about helping couples improve their relationships and overall satisfaction in life.
Mindy Rothman, LCPC, ALMFT (Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Associate Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist)
Mindy believes that every couple has their own rich relationship full of personal experiences that shape who they are together. She has received her certification in couples and family counseling and uses a person-centered approach combined with Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). The relationship Mindy shares with her clients is incredibly important, and she ensures that couples feel validated, safe, and seen for who they are. Her approach recognizes that couples know themselves best and are the experts in their own relationship. Mindy works with couples dealing with relationship issues, breakup healing, life balance, family of origin issues, boundaries, anxiety, OCD, and depression.
Bernadetta Zawiejska, ALMFT, LPC (Associate Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Professional Counselor)
Bernadetta is bilingual (English and Polish) with a heartfelt commitment to nurturing healthy relationships. She is trained in Family Systems Therapy and specializes in helping couples address relational challenges, rebuild connection, and foster emotional well-being. Central to Bernadetta’s approach is the creation of secure emotional bonds between partners, focusing on empathy and understanding in a compassionate, non-judgmental space. She uses Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) principles and believes in the transformative power of emotional connection. By understanding the underlying patterns in a couple’s interactions, Bernadetta helps partners develop healthier, more fulfilling ways of relating to one another.
Brynne Dochterman, LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor)
Brynne uses a relational approach to counseling centered around attachment and how our earliest relationships shape the way we connect with our partners. She helps couples understand attachment wounds and patterns that may be keeping them stuck or creating disconnection in their relationship. Brynne creates a supportive environment where couples can explore their relationship history, dynamics, and emotions together. She specializes in helping LGBTQ+ couples navigate unique challenges, supporting partners through complex trauma that impacts the relationship, and working with couples exploring identity and relationship structure. Brynne uses attachment theory, interpersonal neurobiology, DBT, and trauma-informed approaches to help couples build the skills they need to support each other and create the relationship they truly want.
At Life Counseling Institute, we offer targeted support for specific relationship challenges:
Infidelity Counseling & Affair Recovery
Infidelity changes everything. We help couples process the pain of betrayal, understand what led to the breach of trust, and decide whether and how to move forward. Some couples emerge stronger; others find clarity about separation. Both outcomes can be healthy.
Do you feel more like roommates than romantic partners? We specialize in helping couples understand emotional distance, what created it, and what options exist. Sometimes connection can be rebuilt; sometimes partners realize they need something different. Either way, understanding helps.
If constant arguing has left you exhausted and hopeless, we can help. Our therapists teach practical tools to interrupt negative cycles, communicate without blame, and decide whether this pattern can change or whether other paths might serve you better.
What if your partner won’t come to counseling? You can still gain clarity and make changes. Individual work focused on relationship dynamics can help you understand your role, set boundaries, and make decisions about your future. Many clients find this work invaluable regardless of whether their partner ever attends.
Starting a marriage with honest conversations makes all the difference. We help engaged couples explore expectations, discuss important topics (money, children, family roles, relationship structure), and build skills for a strong partnership. This includes LGBTQ+ couples navigating legal marriage, couples choosing non-traditional structures, and anyone wanting to enter marriage consciously.
Many couples ask, “When is the right time to start couples therapy?” Our answer is simple: When you’re questioning whether you should.
The Reality of When Couples Seek Help
You might have heard that couples wait an average of six years before seeking therapy. Fortunately, recent research published in the Journal of Marital and Family Therapy tells a different story. In a national study of 270 individuals who sought couples therapy, researchers found that most couples entered therapy within two to three years of recognizing serious problems in their relationship, not six. In fact, about two-thirds of couples started therapy within two years of problems beginning to harm their relationship.
Even more encouraging: most people who considered getting help actually started therapy within two years of first thinking about it. This means that if you’re reading this page and thinking about whether couples therapy might help, you’re likely not “too late.” You’re right on time.
Why Sooner Helps
Early intervention: Addressing issues before resentment builds makes all work easier
More options available: The earlier you come, the more pathways forward you have
Prevent escalation: Small issues can become deal-breakers if left unaddressed
Clarity comes faster: Understanding what’s happening helps you make better decisions
Hope for positive outcomes: Research shows that therapists should remain hopeful about couples’ potential for change, regardless of how long they’ve waited to seek help
Therapy Isn’t Just for Saving Relationships
Some couples come to therapy hoping to repair their relationship. Others come seeking clarity about whether to stay. Still others come to learn how to separate consciously and compassionately. All of these are valid reasons to seek support.
Good couples therapy helps you:
Understand what’s really happening
Make decisions aligned with your values
Reduce harm to yourselves and others (especially children)
Move forward with intention rather than reactivity
Your relationship deserves honest exploration. Don’t let the myth that you’ve “waited too long” stop you from seeking support. Whether you’re noticing the first signs of disconnection or have been struggling for years, therapy can help you gain clarity and make informed choices about your future.
Why Clients Choose Life Counseling Institute for Couples Therapy
Since 2012, Life Counseling Institute has provided evidence-based marriage counseling and couples therapy to thousands of couples across Park Ridge, Willowbrook, and communities throughout the northwest and western Chicago suburbs.
Our Couples Therapy Expertise
Specialized Training & Credentials
All of our therapists have received specialized training in couples therapy, with six therapists specifically identifying couples work as a core area of practice. Our team’s collective credentials and training include:
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (LMFT) and Associate Licensed Marriage and Family Therapists (ALMFT)
Advanced training in Gottman Method Couples Therapy
Professional memberships in the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT), American Counseling Association (ACA), and Illinois Counseling Association (ICA)
Evidence-Based Approaches
We specialize in Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT), recognized in peer-reviewed research published in Clinical Psychology in Europe as one of the most effective couples therapy methods, with 60-72% of couples experiencing meaningful improvements in relationship satisfaction. Our therapists also integrate other evidence-based approaches including Cognitive-Behavioral Couples Therapy and Gottman Method interventions to tailor treatment to each couple’s needs.
Ongoing Professional Development
Our therapists engage in regular continuing education, clinical supervision, and peer consultation to stay current with the latest research and best practices in couples therapy. This commitment ensures you receive care informed by both clinical experience and current evidence.
What Sets Us Apart
Inclusive & Affirming Practice
Welcoming support for LGBTQ+ couples, non-monogamous relationships, and all relationship structures
Cultural competence and sensitivity training
Multilingual services in English, Spanish, and Polish
Accessible & Flexible Care
Two convenient locations in Park Ridge and Willowbrook
Secure, HIPAA-compliant telehealth throughout Illinois
Evening and weekend appointments available
In-network with most major insurance providers
Comprehensive Services
Infidelity counseling and affair recovery
Premarital counseling
High-conflict relationship therapy
Support for disconnected partners
“Couples therapy for one” when your partner isn’t ready to attend
Specialized support for major life transitions
Frequently Asked Questions About Marriage Counseling & Couples Therapy
How long does couples therapy typically take?
Most couples gain significant clarity within 12-20 sessions using evidence-based approaches like Emotionally-Focused Therapy (EFT). However, treatment length varies based on the complexity of issues, how long problems have existed, and your specific goals. Some couples benefit from brief, focused work (8-12 sessions), while others with deeper issues or trauma history may continue longer.
What if my partner won’t come to couples therapy?
You can still gain clarity and make changes through “couples therapy for one.” Working on your own communication patterns, emotional responses, and relationship dynamics can help you understand your situation better and make informed decisions. Many clients find individual therapy focused on relationship issues extremely valuable, even if their partner never attends.
Can couples therapy help if we’re already considering divorce or separation?
Absolutely. Couples therapy can help you: (1) explore whether repair is possible and desirable for both of you, (2) gain clarity about whether separation is the healthiest path, or (3) navigate separation more consciously and amicably if that’s your decision. Some couples use therapy for “discernment counseling” to make clearer decisions about their future.
Do you work with LGBTQ+ couples?
Yes. We provide affirming, knowledgeable support for LGBTQ+ couples, including same-sex couples, transgender and non-binary individuals in relationships, and couples navigating gender transition. Our therapists understand minority stress, family acceptance issues, and the unique strengths and challenges LGBTQ+ relationships may face.
Do you work with non-monogamous or polyamorous relationships?
Yes. We offer judgment-free support for consensual non-monogamy in all its forms, including polyamory, open relationships, and couples considering opening previously monogamous relationships. We understand the communication, boundary-setting, and jealousy management that these structures require.
Can couples therapy help after an affair or infidelity?
Couples therapy can help you process the pain of betrayal, understand what happened, and decide how to move forward. Some couples rebuild trust and create stronger relationships; others realize separation is healthiest. Both outcomes can be positive. What therapy offers is clarity and reduced harm regardless of your ultimate decision.
What makes your approach to couples therapy different?
We specialize in Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT), one of the most researched and effective couples therapy approaches. Unlike general talk therapy, EFT specifically targets the emotional bonds and attachment patterns between partners. Our therapists receive extensive specialized training in couples work and use proven techniques backed by research. We also maintain a stance of neutrality about outcomes. We’re here to help you gain clarity, not to push you toward any particular decision about your relationship.
Do you accept insurance for couples therapy?
Yes, Life Counseling Institute is in-network with most major insurance providers. Coverage for couples therapy varies by plan. Some insurance covers it fully, while others may require it be billed under one partner’s individual coverage. We’re happy to verify your benefits and explain your options during your initial call.
Both locations offer the same high-quality, evidence-based couples therapy with experienced licensed therapists. The choice typically depends on which office is more convenient to your home or work. We also offer virtual couples therapy throughout Illinois if neither location works with your schedule or if you prefer online sessions.
